What You Need To Know When Dating An Older Woman
Here's a list of things to consider when dating an older woman
Age should never stand in the way of love. Dating younger men is not just dedicated to celebrities like Madonna and Jennifer Lopez. Relationships that cross generations are no longer a social taboo and are springing up all over the place. However, it's worth taking a second look at whether dating older women should continue to be taken for granted. There are certain difficulties that accompany every relationship with a large age gap, but in the case of men dating younger women, there's also a tricky power dynamic that needs to be considered. What should a man expect if he finds love with an older woman?
If you are considering dating older women, here’s a list of what you need to know when dating an older woman;
- She knows your tricks
Watch out – if she’s had a number of relationships in the past, she’ll be wise to your tricks. She’s heard all the lines and will be able to see through your behaviour. You have to note that you won’t be able to get away with being anything other than genuine. If your intentions are good, this won’t be a problem. She’ll appreciate you for who you are.
- Power Dynamics
This is one of the major reasons why people detest dating older men/women. Power dynamic is a term that recognizes that power in social relationships can come from many sources: money, age, prestige, class, and so on. Speaking in general terms, older people have more social power than younger people, and, in a variety of demonstrable ways and despite measurable progress in this area, men have more power than women. Hence, when you combine the two variables — an older man and a younger woman — the power dynamic favours the older man. The bigger the age gap between you, and the younger she is, the more skewed the power dynamic will be in your favour. Other variables like race, class and gender identity will also factor in to the power balance of your relationship.
So, there are no clear lines, but if you're over 30, dating a woman under 20 is likely to be perceived as suspicious and potentially harmful, dating a woman between 20-25 is a sliding grey area, but probably more acceptable, and dating a woman 25+ is generally going to be socially acceptable. Again, though, these are not hard and fast lines or rules, and you need to draw your own moral lines.
Unfortunately, we all know that the older she gets, the less likely her chances are of conceiving. If you find love with an older woman and want children in the future, don’t dismiss the problem. You need to be realistic about the prospects of success and think about options like IVF treatment and adoption. If you haven’t considered children yet, be aware that it might be on her mind and could place extra pressure on the relationship.
Equally, there’s a big chance that she will already have children of her own. A potential new partner has to be aware that she comes as part of a package. While the prospect of a ready-made family can have its appeal, it’s important that you are realistic about how it will affect your life. Children will obviously restrict spontaneity and add new responsibilities. Sometimes you will find you are not her main priority. This doesn’t have to be an issue but it is vital that before you find love, you know what’s ahead and are sure it’s a future you want.
The good news is that women peak s3xually later in life than men, so you could be in perfect sync. But, if you are used to younger, less experienced women, you might be in for a surprise. Be prepared for her to tell you exactly what she wants and how she wants it. You may have to relinquish some control but that could be a good thing.
Obviously, the older someone gets, the more likely she will fall ill so bear in mind how this will impact your role as her partner. Also, if she is between 45 and 55, she could be approaching menopause. Which can impact mood and emotions – potentially bringing depression, anxiety and memory problems, among other symptoms. Again, be prepared for what the future might hold.
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